My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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