i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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