Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize