scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
