C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
