Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
