Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I got inside last night via doggy door
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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