how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Randomize
