he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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