There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
