bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
