kristin has been a bad kristin
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
