they said they heard you say put it in my butt
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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