My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
