Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
