dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
