Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
