Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
