you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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