He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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