Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
