i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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