scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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