i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
