rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
