i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
