Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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