Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
