He asked to "fluff my boner.."
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
