I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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