Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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