Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We left the knife in your bed.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize