You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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