Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
