you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
