Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
