Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize