I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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