her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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