I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
