I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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