It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
