I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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