I must be too annoying 4 u.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
