he shaved USA in his pubs
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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