he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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