The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
