So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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