Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
