If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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