awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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