Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
