I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
