I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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