That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
3 2 1 whiskey
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
