i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
