dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
