it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
