I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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